Hello. My name is Cross, and I’m a chocoholic.

I love chocolate in just about all of its forms, and I have to make it a point to look away and keep walking by whenever I pass the Lindt and Godiva shops in my local mall, else I risk emptying my wallet. (There used to be a Munson’s shop there, too, but they moved it to another plaza.)

Anyway, while I’m a big fan of gourmet chocolate, I’m not some arrogant jerk who would reject the well-known “generic” varieties. I do love a good Three Musketeers bar, and considering that those are much less expensive than gourmet products, you’d correctly surmise that I have the off-the-shelf stuff much more often.

Recently, my brother returned home from a vacation in France, and he brought me a sample pack of Jeff de Bruges chocolates. He’s well aware of my love for cocoa-based confections, and the stuff he brought back was phenomenal. (Apparently, it’s considered France’s best, and I could certainly taste why.) They had chocolates in there flavored with Earl Grey tea, fer crissake, and they were incredible! Don’t worry, I haven’t become a snob. But it is harder to appreciate the run-of-the-mill stuff now. I want more of that gourmet shit! We should be be able to buy Jeff de Bruges in 7-11s! I want to see Lindt at my local gas station! (And not just those little ball chocolates; that’s a copout, and you know it.)

Or better yet…how about Hershey and friends up the ante by producing a lot more gourmet chocolate of their own? They already produce some, but we need more. Hershey’s bars are great, but they’re practically tasteless compared to that imported chocolatey goodness. C’mon, you’ve got the clout: bring forth higher quality material! There’s no reason why they can’t.

I guess it’s a good thing that the gourmet stuff’s harder to come by and more expensive, otherwise I’d be monstrously fat. This country’s got enough morbidly obese freaks as it is without adding myself to their number.