I bought lunch at Burger King the other day, and noticed that their current Kids’ Meal toy promotion is Neopets. There’s a whole shitload of the little buggers available, but two in particular stood out.

The first is Mynci. It’s supposed to be some type of monkey, obviously, but all I could do was snicker at the name. I’m assuming that “Mynci” is pronounced “minkey,” just like how our hero Inspector Clouseau says it in The Return of the Pink Panther. If you’ve seen that movie, then you know exactly what scene I’m referring to, and thus you’ll understand why the name of this Neopets character makes me laugh. (If by some twist of fate you haven’t seen the film…what the hell are you waiting for?!)

The second one is a penguin-looking animal named…Bruce. What the fuck, all of the other characters get unique-sounding names, and this guy’s stuck with “Bruce”?! No wonder he looks so depressed. What kind of message are they sending to the children? I can only image how shitty kids named Bruce must feel when they see this sullen bastard.

But I’m sure Bruce will one day get his revenge; when the zombie apocalypse comes, he’ll be feeding his fellow Neopets to the ravenous hordes of the undead. Now that’s a BK Kids’ Meal toyline I’d like to see. Neopets vs. the Zombies!