Artistic frustration
November 3, 2008 10:24 am Personal
Once in a great while, I get the urge to start drawing again. I used to draw all the time; in fact, I earned a bachelor’s degree in studio art (albeit with a graphic design concentration). For a time, I even illustrated a webcomic, Breakfast at Timpani’s. However, the fact that my artwork was incredibly shitty, even after years of practice, eventually took its toll. I got so depressed that I “retired” from creating art, as it were.
Still, every now and then, I want to draw again. These bouts don’t last long; I’ll pick up a sketchbook and pencil, sketch for maybe half an hour, and end up tossing the unholy union of graphite and paper away in disgust. (The smudgy mess to the right being an obvious exception to the throw-away rule, as I needed to provide further visual context. Bonus points to the reader who can identify it, however.)
It’s incredibly frustrating to have all these ideas bouncing around my head like BBs in a tin can, yet have no medium with which to properly express them. These feelings make me look back on the time I spent toiling on my artwork in college with embarrassment. In retrospect, it really was all for nothing. (Plus, I had the good fortune to graduate right as the dot-com bubble burst.) Those painful memories also help clamp down on my random urges to draw; I don’t want history to repeat itself, do I?
Artistic talent must be ingrained, not a learned skill. I’m proof positive of that.
November 3rd, 2008 at 10:17 AM
I understand… I can’t draw, either. Why do you think I’ve resorted to photography? I’ve learned to understand my weaknesses and give up on drawing, and work with my strengths, which mainly deal with composing and cropping pictures.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:21 PM
“Artistic talent must be ingrained, not a learned skill. I’m proof positive of that.”
Horsecrap it is. You want proof? Look at me. I sucked at drawing and have had to practice non-stop to get as decent as I’ve gotten. And I’ve had to work constantly to maintain that or improve a little. And do you know who’s told me to just keep practicing every time I’ve looked at my comic, especially in the early days, and wondered why I was putting pencil to paper?
You.
November 7th, 2008 at 10:45 AM
It’s a drawing of Isaac, from Dead Space.
I think most people that graduated in college with a certain degree end up doing something else anyway. And the market for what you were looking for was terrible when you graduated…and I think it still is.
The fact that you spent so much time creating stuff like in your portfolio outside of work is pretty impressive I think. Most people are pretty lazy man. although you may not be drawing as much as you used to, you’re still creating art maybe without you realizing it. This blog for instance I think is the sharpest looking one I read on a daily basis (not to mention your grammar is better than most professional blogs I read).
Maybe the next step for you is if you still want to create and don’t want to sketch stuff up any more you need to find a different outlet for your creativity. Photography, video editing, painting miniatures are a few things that come to mind.