A big “screw you” goes out to Target, for the particular sale item they’re spotlighting on Black Friday. (That’s the Friday after Thanksgiving, for those of you visiting from Mars.) Allow me to explain. Lately, Target’s been restocking the LEGO® Imperial Star Destroyer.

Originally released in 2006, this big-ass set retails for $99.99. Given my current financial situation, throwing down $100 on a LEGO® set is most certainly not in the cards, nor will it be for a very long time. It’s like Target brought the thing back just to fuck with me. Oh, but wait…it gets worse. On Black Friday, that set’s being marked down to $59.99.

Motherfuckers! That’s a huge deal; 40% off a large-scale set is nothing to scoff at! Why couldn’t they have done that shit over the summer, when I actually had the cash? There’s no way I could justify that purchase right now, massive deal or not.

Furthermore, I absolutely despise the very concept of Black Friday. The overcommercialization of the Christmas season is as disgusting to me as the fundamentalist Christians who try to jam the religious nature of their adopted-from-the-pagans holiday in everyone’s faces. There, I’ve played both sides of the fence, so no one can say I’m unfair. Eat me. Anyway, getting up early to deal with crowds of assholes fighting over deals on fucking toys and other stuff is not my idea of a good time. Human nature sickens me, and nowhere is that more apparent than Christmas shopping. Screw that noise. I refuse to even leave my apartment on Black Friday; I’d much rather enjoy myself playing games or reading a book. In fact, I won’t even go shopping online! Let those mindless sheep fight their way through the malls of our nation. I’ll stay home stress-free, thanks.

Though I still hate what Target’s done. Jerks.