I was born and raised in New England, and I’ve lived here all of my life. As a result, I’m no stranger to nasty winter weather, and I have no problem bitching about it.

The weekend before Christmas, we got sledgehammered with two winter storms within the span of three days. I fucking hate the snow and ice. It might’ve been great when I was a little kid; it usually meant a day off from school, and I’d spend my time sledding down the local hills. Of course, in the real world, inclement weather is almost never an excuse to take a day off from work. Worse, it means you have to get up earlier to clean off your car, or in many cases, dig it out of a snowdrift. The snowplows do a good job clearing the parking lot at my apartment complex, but there’s still the overflow of snow that builds up behind your parked car to dig through.

Once your car’s out, you still have to drive through shitty conditions, and pray you don’t hit a patch of black ice like I did earlier this year. (Thankfully, I did not end up as a highway stain as a result; I just slid into the breakdown lane and cracked my front bumper on a Jersey barrier.) Last but not least, if it’s still snowing while you’re at work, guess how you get to spend lunch breaks? Yep, that’s right…cleaning the white bullshit off your car again.

I can’t stand the winter, but unfortunately, I’m stuck up here for the foreseeable future. That means plenty more complaints coming your way! Aren’t you lucky?