Unlike all of my peers, I do not use a cellphone as my primary means of communication. In fact, I didn’t even own a cellphone of any kind until last fall, when a prepaid unit was given to me for my birthday. I use it in case of emergencies, or if I’m unable to access a phone when I’m out and about; otherwise, I use my landline.

I hate cellphones. Well, not the devices themselves, but more accurately the culture that’s grown up around them. We’ve all had to deal with people yapping, texting, and fiddling around with their devices in movie theaters. That drives me up the fucking wall. Another pet peeve of mine is cellphone conversations during a meal. I have to deal with it all the time in restaurants, and it drives me nuts. Have the common decency to put your cellphone on silent. I do, and it’s not difficult.

All of that said, there’s a lot of cellphones, smartphones, and whateverphones out there that I do like, and wouldn’t mind owning. The feature sets on these things are astounding. And yes, I’d love an iPhone, but even the cheapest plans on those things would break my bank account.

The primary reason I haven’t switched to a wireless-centric phone plan is the price; that is, the price of the actual service, not the device itself. Even “cheap” cellphone plans are exorbitant for what you’re actually getting. Sure, I get charged if I make a long distance call on my landline, but I don’t get charged if someone calls me. You don’t have that option on a cellphone, unless you have unlimited nights and weekends (and “nights” start later and later), or pay for unlimited minutes across the board, which costs and arm and a leg. I pay less for my landline and broadband internet access than most medium-grade cellphone plans! You start with a comparable cellphone plan and throw in web access, and you’re looking at a preposterous amount of money every month. It’s not worth it for the “convenience” of being able to talk to someone or send an email no matter where you are.

Why are some people so personally invested in their favorite television shows?

I can understand really getting into a show, and waiting with baited breath to see what happens to your favorite characters each and every week. (I’m like that with Battlestar Galactica and Lost.) However, I’m not so obsessed with a show that I get pissed off if other people dismiss or even insult it. If they don’t want to watch it, then who cares?

I’ve literally been yelled at and insulted over stuff like this, even if I merely stated that I wasn’t interested in a particular program. Granted, I’ve gone out on a limb sometimes and said that “[insert media here] sucks,” but I won’t attack someone personally based on what they do or do not like. So why am I getting bitched at in return? It’s not like these people are in the show in question. Nor do they own stock in it. Perhaps they just need a new hobby.

The same applies to films and music. I’ve seen people flip the fuck out when I’ve expressed disinterest or distaste with certain movies or bands. Seriously, relax, and lower your goddamn blood pressure.

Lately, I’ve been rifling through old copies of Nintendo Power and the sadly now-defunct Electronic Gaming Monthly. I don’t mean stuff from a few months ago; we’re talking issues from the late 1980s and early 1990s. (Thanks, RetroMags.com!) For me, that era was truly gaming’s “golden age.” The video game world just seemed to be a happier place back then. It’s where all of my favorite games came from, and since we didn’t have the Internet to get our video game news, gaming magazines were where we got our fix.

I was a fan of Nintendo Power right from the start; who could forget the classic Super Mario Bros. 2 cover on the first issue, sculpted from clay? While I didn’t have my own subscription, I was able to live vicariously through friends. (That’s how all of my gaming was handled back then, sadly.) Though we didn’t know it back then, the magazine was very clearly Japanese; while the bright colors and mishmash layout had a 1980s vibe, the art looked like it was ripped straight out of a manga volume. Some of the art was crappy, but a lot of it was very high quality, especially the pieces used for Ninja Gaiden and Dragon Warrior. In case you’re wondering why the magazine had such a distinctly Japanese flavor, it’s because the US editions of Nintendo Power were essentially just translated versions of the Japanese issues!

Then there were the painstakingly stitched-together screenshots and maps. These were the days before emulators and Photoshop, so editors had to actually photograph every screen, piece by piece! I loved the mini-strategy guides and maps; they were invaluable, as games were much harder back in the 1980s and 1990s. Sometimes the layout made things hard to read, but us budding gamers didn’t mind too much. Nintendo Power was the top source to get the goods on our favorite games. Sure, it was just a public relations mouthpiece, but we didn’t care.

Now, on to Electronic Gaming Monthly. I didn’t get into that one until issue #14; yes, I remember the very first issue of EGM I ever read. Why? Because Mega Man 3 was the cover story. That’s my favorite game of all time, people, and that issue of the mag was the first time I’d even heard of the game. I had played the previous two games, of course, so when I found out there was going to be a third, I was ecstatic.

Anyway, EGM lacked the Japanese flavor of Nintendo Power (being a “homegrown” mag), but it covered all video game platforms. Aside from the usual Nintendo and Sega stuff, there was plenty of arcade and home computer info in there, too; the latter was especially important to me, as I was just starting to get into computer games at this point in time. The other thing that really made EGM stand out (all the way up until its demise) were the unique personalities of the writers and editors, as well as the team-based reviews.

By the time the 3D era of gaming rolled around, Nintendo Power had become even more of a cheesy public relations shill; it was laughably bad, and practically unreadable. Even the long-running strategy sections and maps were gone! Fortunately, the format was changed dramatically a few years ago. The mag actually offered criticism of Nintendo products when warranted, and even gave credit to the competition! Beforehand, this was practically unheard of, given Nintendo’s long history of anti-competitive actions. The new Nintendo Power was also spiced with exclusive interviews, vastly improved writing, and a cleaner layout. (Still no maps and stuff, though.) It’s not a mindblowing piece of media, but the changes were just what Dr. Mario ordered. It’s also relatively inexpensive, as far as magazines go. That’s always a plus.

EGM, on the other hand, steamed along strong the entire time. There were tweaks to the design here and there, but the mag itself always kept up its integrity. That’s why its cancellation last month, just shy of its 20th anniversary, was such a kick in the balls. I had a subscription to EGM for quite some time, and news of the mag’s demise were the reason I didn’t resubscribe. (Sometimes, I really hate being right.)

While there’s still a few gaming magazines in circulation, none of them are the powerhouses we had in the past. It’s disgraceful that standout gaming periodical have gone the way of the dodo. Part of it can be blamed on the overly fanboyish state of gaming nowadays, and part can be blamed on the Internet largely replacing a lot of print media…but that doesn’t make it sting any less.

I hate going to the gym.

While I’m not disgustingly obese (like oh-so-many of my fellow Americans), I’m not in shape, either. So in order to maintain some semblance of proper health, I have to exercise, and during our frigid winters, that means going to the gym.

The gym I go to isn’t some dudebro-infested Muscle Beach clone, thankfully. I use the one at my local community college; it’s close by, membership is dirt cheap, and since I go after work, I almost always have the place to myself. My problem isn’t embarrassment or feelings of inadequacy compared to other gym-goers; it’s the appallingly boring process of moving in place and performing a cardiovascular workout.

I know that sounds like laziness, but it’s really not; during warmer weather, I have no problem going out on my bike. This is infinitely preferable to spending time at the gym, as I’m actually going somewhere while on a bike. At the gym, I’m stuck moving in place on a treadmill or crosstrainer, trying to hear music via my iPod over the blaring pop radio station that’s piped into the workout room. Then we’ve got the incredibly shitty programs shown on the three televisions above the cardio area. One is always tuned to ESPN; that makes sense, since it’s a gym, but I couldn’t care less about sports. Another is set to Fox News. I don’t want to see the talking heads on that channel spew their usual lies and bullshit no matter where I am. The last TV’s channel setting varies, but it’s never any good; it’s often stuck on either Shop NBC or CNBC. Who the hell wants to watch informercials or hear about finance when they’re working out?!

All of this makes for a very depressing and annoying workout. Some people enjoy exercising, but for me, it’s something I literally have to force myself into doing. If I don’t, I end up feeling sick more often.

Has the weather improved yet?

Can someone please explain to me why some movie soundtracks are released with the songs out of order? I was listening to John Williams’ awesome score from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom the other day; the track order runs counter to the order in which the pieces were heard in the film. With a rock CD, this generally isn’t a big deal; that’s what the “shuffle” function was created for. With movies, however, you’re trying to accompany a linear story through music, and mixing up the track order defeats that. In Temple of Doom’s case, only a few tracks are out of order, but it’s still a rather jarring effect.

The score to my favorite film of all time, Army of Darkness, fares considerably worse. The opening piece is placed first, but everything else is completely mixed up. In fact, a memorable piece from towards the end of the film is the second track on the disc! It’s incredibly annoying.

Doesn’t mixing things up like that violate an unwritten law somewhere? Cripes, you don’t see movie DVDs released with their scenes shuffled, do you? The same should apply to their soundtracks!