Unlike all of my peers, I do not use a cellphone as my primary means of communication. In fact, I didn’t even own a cellphone of any kind until last fall, when a prepaid unit was given to me for my birthday. I use it in case of emergencies, or if I’m unable to access a phone when I’m out and about; otherwise, I use my landline.

I hate cellphones. Well, not the devices themselves, but more accurately the culture that’s grown up around them. We’ve all had to deal with people yapping, texting, and fiddling around with their devices in movie theaters. That drives me up the fucking wall. Another pet peeve of mine is cellphone conversations during a meal. I have to deal with it all the time in restaurants, and it drives me nuts. Have the common decency to put your cellphone on silent. I do, and it’s not difficult.

All of that said, there’s a lot of cellphones, smartphones, and whateverphones out there that I do like, and wouldn’t mind owning. The feature sets on these things are astounding. And yes, I’d love an iPhone, but even the cheapest plans on those things would break my bank account.

The primary reason I haven’t switched to a wireless-centric phone plan is the price; that is, the price of the actual service, not the device itself. Even “cheap” cellphone plans are exorbitant for what you’re actually getting. Sure, I get charged if I make a long distance call on my landline, but I don’t get charged if someone calls me. You don’t have that option on a cellphone, unless you have unlimited nights and weekends (and “nights” start later and later), or pay for unlimited minutes across the board, which costs and arm and a leg. I pay less for my landline and broadband internet access than most medium-grade cellphone plans! You start with a comparable cellphone plan and throw in web access, and you’re looking at a preposterous amount of money every month. It’s not worth it for the “convenience” of being able to talk to someone or send an email no matter where you are.