I may be in the minority here, but I’m a sucker for video games starring “cute” protagonists. Okay, so I’m not going to rush out and buy the latest Hello Kitty adventure, but games such as the Kirby, LocoRoco, and Starfy series, and even shameless corporate merchandising like Boing! Docomodake DS are great fun.

“Come play with us! We only want to eat your skin.”

As long as they’re quality games, does it really matter what they look like? So what if they’re not mind-numbingly difficult? (Though some can be, like the hidden stars in Super Mario Galaxy.) Even if they’re on the moderate to easy side, they’re just fun to play, and that’s all any game should boil down to. And with a majority of games these days utilizing a practically monochromatic color scheme alongside grumpy, foulmouthed protagonists, titles with bright colors and happy characters are a welcome breath of fresh air.

I realize that 99% of those “hardcore gamer” losers are against me on this one. I’m guessing the cause is that ridiculous “digital machismo” angle, where any male gamer worth his salt wouldn’t be caught dead playing a “cute” game, as it somehow calls his heterosexuality into question. Personally, I fail to see any correlation between graphic violence, a color palette composed of grays and browns, and the player’s sexual preferences, but what do I know? I’m just an educated adult. (Ironically, many of those “hardcore gamers” are at the forefront of the “bromosexual” movement, which makes any calling out of cute games as “gay” even more hilarious.) Here’s a tip, kids: playing cute games is not only fun, it scores you points with the ladies. Case and point: my girlfriend and I are both rabid LocoRoco fans. (You think she gives a shit about something like Halo 3?)

As I’ve mentioned in the past, the whole anti-cute game thing is a another example of irony, as many “hardcore gamers” grew up playing brightly-colored games like the Mario and Sonic series. I don’t what turned these douchebags around to bash such fond childhood memories. Games get continually watered down into a grim ‘n’ gritty boring mess, but the cute platformers and such are quite literally the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve been thinking about the whole “geek is chic” fad lately. There’s been a lot of talk about how it’s acceptable and/or trendy to be “geeky” or “nerdy” these days, but I’m not sure I believe that. You could argue that the success of films like Iron Man and The Dark Knight show that comic books are becoming more mainstream, as well as celebrities “admitting” that they read comic books or enjoy playing video games. However, those arguments are still full of holes.

Let’s look at the comic book thing. Comics are definitely growing in popularity; there’s no doubt there. If an issue of a comic book sells over 100,000 copies these days, it’s considered a massive hit. However, they’re nowhere near as popular as they were during the 1940s, when issues would sell millions of copies each! When it comes to film adaptations, people need to understand that a majority of the audiences are not comic book fans; they just want to see a good action movie. Proof? Watchmen. A great film, based on a legendary comic book, but mainstream audiences don’t give a shit, and as a result it’s not doing as well on the review circuit or financially as the producers had hoped.

As for celebrities coming out of the nerd closet, as it were, I don’t buy that for a second. Most of them are likely just saying that to boost their own popularity; it’s their job, after all. When world famous actors and musicians start trolling their local comic shops every Wednesday, or harassing the help at GameStop when the UPS guy drops by on Tuesdays, then I’ll believe their nerd claims.

Last but not least, the thing that really sinks the “geek is chic” ship is that none of these trendy activities are really all that geeky or nerdy. Reading comics here and there, or watching science fiction television shows like Lost or Battlestar Galactica (both of which have enjoyed immense mainstream appeal simply because they’re not too geeky), or enjoying Batman movies? Big deal. That’s just pop culture, not geek culture. We’re not seeing a rise in popularity of truly nerdy activities, like studying particle physics in your spare time, playing Dungeons & Dragons campaigns with coworkers, and so forth. Like any other fad, the “geek is chic” thing will be over and done with in a few years, only to replaced by something else just as ridiculous.

I’ve been described as a “nerd” myself, and I’m not scoffing at self-proclaimed celebrity “geeks” just to make myself feel better. Far from it; to be honest, as far as the geek scale goes, I’m apparently pretty low on the totem pole. I just can’t stand it when people pretend to be something they’re not, or get too invested in something that’s really just another stupid fad.

There’s two phrases that found their way into common parlance, and both of them annoy the shit out of me. These are “epic win” and “epic fail.” Let me take them both apart, so that you may see where my anger comes from.

We’ll begin with “epic win.” The phrase by itself is grammatically correct, but quite annoying because of the inaccurate use of the adjective “epic.” Last time I checked, epics were legendary adventures or poems. Nowadays, people are using the term to describe trips to the fucking grocery store. It makes no sense, so cut it out.

“Epic fail,” on the other hand, really needs to stop. Why? Because “fail” is a verb, not a fucking noun, you ignorant jackoffs. Therefore, there’s no such thing as an “epic fail.” If you simply must use the term “epic” to describe some bullshit minor setback, then the correct usage is “epic failure.” It’s not difficult, people. To quote old Biff Tannen, “You sound liked a damned fool when you say it wrong!”

And we wonder why our educational system is going down the toilet?

Man, the right wing really hates President Obama. I expected a lot of vitriol, but the amount of evil ichor that Rush Limbaugh and his cohorts spew out on a daily basis is nothing short of staggering. It’s the kind of shit that if a left-winger said anything even remotely like it during the Bush administration, Ann Coulter and the GOP would’ve called for their public execution.

Hell, just the other day, Chuck Norris appeared on the Fox News talk show The Glenn Beck Program, joining the host in mercilessly bashing the president and his politics, and of course blaming Obama for policies enacted during the previous administration. I don’t care how cool all of those stupid Internet memes make Norris sound; he’s a fucking douchebag. This is the same clown who actually advocated the secession of Texas from the rest of the United States! Last time I checked, secession was high treason, making it extremely illegal. As to Norris’ talk of “thousands of cell groups”…aren’t those the same words we use to describe terrorists? Again, can you imagine if a liberal pundit was talking like this? They’d be dead by now!

I’m all for free speech; Norris and crew have every right to say whatever they wish. It’s the double standard that gets me.

The title says it all, but I suppose I’ll elaborate a bit.

“Nerdcore” is a genre of rap music in which the lyrics and subject matter are about all things nerdy and geeky, such as computer programming, video games, Dungeons & Dragons, and so on. I’m not exactly the world’s biggest rap fan, but I’ve given a few nerdcore acts such a listen, out of morbid curiosity.

It was all pretentiousness, to be honest. Every single song I sampled sounded like the rappers were trying to be badass and pompous about their “nerdy” habits, and how cool they are as a result. Perhaps that’s a rap stereotype side effect, but I doubt it. It’s just shitty music, any way you paint it.