There’s two phrases that found their way into common parlance, and both of them annoy the shit out of me. These are “epic win” and “epic fail.” Let me take them both apart, so that you may see where my anger comes from.

We’ll begin with “epic win.” The phrase by itself is grammatically correct, but quite annoying because of the inaccurate use of the adjective “epic.” Last time I checked, epics were legendary adventures or poems. Nowadays, people are using the term to describe trips to the fucking grocery store. It makes no sense, so cut it out.

“Epic fail,” on the other hand, really needs to stop. Why? Because “fail” is a verb, not a fucking noun, you ignorant jackoffs. Therefore, there’s no such thing as an “epic fail.” If you simply must use the term “epic” to describe some bullshit minor setback, then the correct usage is “epic failure.” It’s not difficult, people. To quote old Biff Tannen, “You sound liked a damned fool when you say it wrong!”

And we wonder why our educational system is going down the toilet?