I’m all for using foul language, as this blog proves. However, I also understand that not every form of media is bettered by a generous portion of F-bombs. Sometimes, creators will often use made-up swear words to get their point across without running foul of some uptight moral brigades. Case and point is the recent Battlestar Galactica‘s use (and resultant popularization) of the word “frak.” While it was obviously a parallel to the word “fuck,” the new word was never overused, thankfully, and made sense in the show’s universe without seeming cheesy; a very rare feat, indeed. (The original BSG series from the late 1970s also used the term, there spelled “frack,” but in conjunction with absolutely ridiculous euphemisms like “felgercarb,” thus throwing its efficiency out the window. Ugh.)

What gets to me, though, is when fake swearing is overused, and does sound cheesy. My two primary targets for this argument are the British sitcom Red Dwarf and the comic book series Star Wars: Legacy.

I’m not a fan of Red Dwarf at all; I’ve watched a few episodes (thanks to my roommate, who loves the series), but found it to be incredibly cheesy and painful to watch. Hey, that’s just my personal preference, so eat me. Anyway, one of my main complaints was the eye-rollingly bad fake cuss words the creators of the show came up with. Topping the list is “smeg.” The show’s characters used this term much like “frak,” but it was often overused, and to an exponentially ridiculous degree. Granted, the show was supposed to be a comedy to begin with, but that doesn’t mean you can’t swear (or at the very least, create fake swear words that don’t sound like toddler speech).

Star Wars: Legacy, which is actually very good, unfortunately falls prey to the same problem. The Star Wars universe has been peppered with alien slang and curses since its inception, which is fine. Legacy, however, takes things to new heights of ridiculousness by throwing the fake terms around every other page. Look, the characters are supposed to be speaking Basic (read by us as English, of course). So when they’re adding in dumb terms like “stoopa,” “kark,” and “e chu ta,” it just sounds silly. The worst part is that this runs contrary to the dark, serious tone the book is trying convey!

I’ve always been of the mind that if you want to say “fuck,” just say “fuck.” If you can’t, then don’t throw in a fake substitute; use a proper swear word, or don’t say anything at all.