Everyone knows I loved the NES days of gaming. Many of those classic games remain my favorites to this day, and it’s a damn shame that so many franchises from the 8-bit days have faded into obscurity.

One of those is the Robot Ninja Haggle Man series, which we’re going to talk about today. While only three games were produced, Robot Ninja Haggle Man was a big influence on my favorite series of all time, Mega Man. Read on, and you too will realize what a travesty it is that this series has lain dormant for so long.

Developed by Gears, Inc., the first Robot Ninja Haggle Man game came out in 1985. Our titular hero, Haggle Man, is a robot ninja built by the benevolent scientist Zenryosai in the city of Neo Nippon. Of course, there’s also an evil scientist lurking about, and in this case, it’s Chingensai. He’s kidnapped The Princess, and it’s up to Haggle Man to save her. Anyway, the game was a mix of Elevator Action and Ninja Jajamaru-kun: you beat foes by chucking gear shuriken at them, stomping on their heads, or surprising them from behind doors. You could even call in allies for an ultimate attack (like Haggle Man’s sister Little Koume, the baby Little Zenmai, or his robotic dog, Cyborg K9) by collecting secret scrolls. Simplistic by today’s standards, sure, but still a lot of fun. Gears even produced a “Koume version” of this game. While it was the exact same game as Robot Ninja Haggle Man with Little Koume as a playable character, it was limited to only a hundred copies, making it one hell of a collectors’ item!

The sequel, Robot Ninja Haggle Man 2, amped things up considerably, especially in the graphics department. Robot Ninja Haggle Man 2 arrived in 1986, and kept most of the core gameplay intact. However, the levels are a lot bigger, foes are smarter, and our hero’s doppelgänger Dark Haggle Man makes a most unwelcome return.

In 1989, along came Robot Ninja Haggle Man 3, and that’s where everything changed. The game received a massive artistic and graphical overhaul, with the new sprites appearing far less “cartoony” than before. Levels were gigantic, with multiple paths to explore, and Haggle Man himself could be upgraded and customized using the Hagglegear system. As far as story is concerned, saving The Princess was no longer the order of the day. Instead, Haggle Man had to recover three sacred regalia that had been stolen; if he fails, the forces of darkness could use the regalia to bring about the end of the world! Meanwhile, a mysterious new character named Haggleman Lady was introduced. Robot Ninja Haggle Man 3 was strongly influenced by Tecmo’s Ninja Gaiden, though not as back-breakingly difficult.

I’m really pissed that this franchise never made it out of the 8-bit era; imagine how kickass a Super Robot Ninja Haggle Man game would’ve been on the Super NES! I’ve got all three original games (and I’m working on tracking down the special Koume edition), but my thirst for a new RNHM game will likely never be slaked. Ugh.

God damn it, just put a collection of all three on the DS, for crying out loud! Then at least new gamers can experience what this great series was all about.