There seems to be an increasing amount of focus lately on video games that are multiplayer-centric. That is, there’s little to no single-player mode; in order to properly play the game, you must have other human beings controlling other characters (either online, or in person). While these games are certainly fun, I think their growing popularity is a step in the wrong direction.

The biggest problem with games like SOCOM Confrontation, Warhawk, MAG, and so on is that they don’t age well. Upon release, when a shitload of people are playing them, then you’ve got nearly limitless replay value. But once the fervor dies down, and there’s few people left playing…then it’s just not fun anymore. Even games like Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, which is still very popular nearly two years after its release, will eventually be rendered obsolete. Do you think Microsoft will still host servers for it decades from now? No way. I can pop in an old Atari 7800 game and still play it to its fullest, but you won’t be able to do that with CoD4 in twenty years. (I made a similar argument in my post about physical versus intangible media.)

There is, of course, an exception to this rule, and that’s in the computer gaming arena. Due to gamers creating mods and hosting their own servers for older games, multiplayer-only games will survive much longer there. But for the console games, which ultimately get a hell of a lot more press, their days are numbered. That’s why it bugs me to see multiplayer-centric games getting jerked off on as “legendary” by the gaming press; they’ll be dead within a generation, while games like The Legend of Zelda still stand the test of time.

I haven’t been to a concert since the fall of 2007. In my high school and college years, I was at some seedy venue watching a metal band play just about every month. So…why do I rarely go anymore? The answer is twofold.

One, most of the bands I listen to are European, and they rarely (if ever!) tour the United States. Two—and this is the more important reason—I honestly think “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

The last show I saw was Porcupine Tree, at the shithole that is the Webster Theater. Now, for those of you who haven’t heard of them (likely 99% of you), they’re a progressive rock band from England. They’ve used some metallic riffs in their music before, but overall, they’re a rock band, not a metal band. However, this did not stop young drunken morons from moshing about during the show, plowing into people, and otherwise ruining other fans’ enjoyment.

Even at shows where the level of songwriting prowess doesn’t approach that of a prog-rock band, people still manage to ruin it for me. I understand that when you’re at a black metal or death metal show, it’s going to get intense and violent in there, and I’m all for that. That doesn’t mean you should have to deal with illicit substance-fueled jackoffs whose sole purpose in attending the show is to physically assault as many people as possible. Not only does that cause problems with the local law enforcement, but if you ask me, if reflects poorly on the band that you paid money to see in the first place! I admit, I was a fucking retard in college. But I didn’t elevate myself to the levels of douchebaggery that these clowns do.

Like most folks, maybe I’m just getting grumpier in my old age. Well, at least it’ll save me some cash. Of course, if Cannibal Corpse comes around for a club tour, I suppose I oughta see ‘em before I die…

I leave you with some artwork that many have found to be horribly offensive. Enjoy!

Some programming genius out there needs to write what I call “the ultimate social script.” The function of this script is quite simple: it filters out all of the annoying Internet mannerisms that have become so incredibly aggravating over the past few years. For example, this script would perform the following useful functions:

• Image blocking of LOLcats and their derivatives.

• Censoring of idiotic Internet speech such as “lulz, epic fail, nom nom nom,” and so on.
• Screen name truncation for anyone whose online moniker begins or ends with letter Xs.
• Friends list deletion of people who constantly violate “Twitterquette.”

Can you imagine how much more relaxing the Internet experience would be if we had a filter like that? Seriously, people are such morons online, that even reading comments on news sites are an exercise in futility. We’ve already got spam filters; this is the next logical step. The ultimate social script would be like giving the Internet a much-needed hot shower.