I’ve Force-choked the Star Wars fanboys, and now it’s time to set phasers on kill and go after the rabid Trekkies.

Let’s get one thing out in the open first. Star Trek: The Next Generation is my favorite television show. Ever. So when it comes to Trek fandom, I’d imagine that my credentials are in good order. That doesn’t mean I don’t roll my eyes at some aspects of Trek obsession, however.

The first crowd I want to yell at are those hardcore Star Trek followers who bitch about the purported difference between “Trekkie” and “Trekker.” Seriously…who the fuck cares? Neither one was ever meant to be derogatory, and they both mean the same damned thing: a devoted fan of the franchise.

Next, we’ve got those damned fundamentalists who only enjoy the original Star Trek series and films, and decry everything that followed it as crap. Look, for every shitty Next Generation or Voyager episode, there’s an analogue within the original series. In fact, need I point out that “The Way to Eden,” one of the worst episodes in Trek history, is an original series episode? No show is perfect, and automatically denouncing later material just because “it’s not the original” is stupid. If we apply that stupid logic elsewhere…then how do you explain the recent Battlestar Galactica series, which is widely considered to be one of the greatest science fiction programs ever made? Or the critical acclaim heaped upon the American version of The Office? Spinoffs, followups, and remakes need to be judged on their own merits (or lack thereof).

We’ll wrap up my complaints with the people who profess to be able to “speak Klingon.” Fer crissake, Klingon is not a real language. Even the constructed language fragments on the various televisions series and movies were inconsistent, so even if you strung as many of those together as possible, you still don’t have a full language! Considering that it also has no real use in modern society, that makes it all the more pointless.

Okay, as before, I want your stories on this. Got any personal experience with Trekkies gone wild? Fans expanding their houses to build a life-sized replica of the Enterprise bridge? Drivers repainting their cars to look like shuttlecraft? A guy at work who only does poor William Shatner impressions? Leave some comments with your stories!

(Also, If you can think of any other large science fiction or fantasy fandom I could tear into, please feel free to make suggestions.)