With the holiday steamroller well on its way, how could I resist doing a post about spoiled children?

I grew up in the 1980s (I’m old, but I’m not that old), which is rightly seen by many as a toy explosion. So many incredible brands were either introduced or reintroduced during that decade, and many of them are still powerful sales forces to this day. Naturally, as a kid, I wanted just about every Transformers, He-Man, and G.I. Joe figure available for Christmas. Of course, I didn’t actually get them all; not even close. Out of the massive lists of toys spinning around in my head, I’d only get a few under the tree…and I was perfectly happy with that. Even if the thought of “Oh, I didn’t get Ultra Magnus!” crossed my mind, it was very rapidly brushed away as I enjoyed the toys I did get. My peers acted much the same way; none of my friends bitched and moaned if they didn’t get their top pick.

Nowadays…things are very different. I worked in a toy store during the holiday rush during my college years in the late 1990s, and had to deal with whiny kids and their demanding parents on a nightly basis. And even that pales to the behavior I see and hear about now! I know quite a few people who work in retail and/or work with children, and the horror stories they’ve told me are mind-boggling.

If a store is out of stock of an item, then the unlucky employee who tells the parent this is personally responsible for ruining their child’s Christmas. Worse yet, if the kid doesn’t get everything on his list, he throws a fit! I don’t know if this is an outgrowth of the entitlement culture or what, but listen up: life’s full of disappointment. Too many kids today are spoiled absolutely rotten, and if lil’ Johnny can’t get every last item on his appalling $500 wish list, then he should suck it up and deal with it. Like he’s not going to get enough shit to amuse himself with Christmas morning! Holy shit, if I asked for a king’s ransom of gifts for Christmas, my folks would’ve skinned me alive and fed me to Santa’s reindeer.

Obviously, part of this disgusting behavior is due to the world-shattering importance attached to the holiday shopping season. The only thing that matters is money, money, and money, like it or not. (Personally, I avoid the rush by getting all of that shit done before Thanksgiving, but that’s neither here nor there.) Buying the perfect toy for their child has always been a parent’s dream, but the fever pitch this has reached lately has transcended the boundaries of common decency.

On a related note, need I remind everyone that there’s millions of kids out there who don’t get squat? If you’re going to throw around a wad of cash on your kids for the holidays, then spread the wealth: donate a bit to Toys for Tots or something similar. If lil’ Johnny doesn’t get one of the many $60 video games he demanded, guess what: he’ll live.

I know this sounds cliché, but I have to say it anyway: “In my day, we got one big gift for Christmas, and liked it!” Now someone fetch me my cane and prune juice.