The ubiquity of the iPhone is starting to get really annoying. Apple’s little device catapulted smartphones’ popularity into the stratosphere, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I won’t deny the usefulness of the phone and many of its apps, especially for business use. They’re certainly powerful and fun devices, and I wouldn’t mind owning one, if not for the back-breaking price of the service plans.

What gets on my nerves is the sheer number of iPhone apps that do nothing but promote laziness and stupidity. C’mon, apps to order a pizza? Is it really that difficult to just call the pizza place…on the same damned device?! Or how about the utterly pointless apps, like the bird call libraries, lightsaber sound effect generators, or approximately five hundred thousand fart simulators? The fact that so many people are obsessed with this stuff does not bode well for the future of our species.

On a related note, people’s attachment to iPhones is getting way out of hand, as well. Granted, this is a common problem with almost all cellphones; a majority of the population has deluded themselves into believing that they’re incapable of functioning without them. This is a mental disease of the highest order; if you can’t check your email or Facebook page every five minutes, you’ll get over it. Sheesh. Unless you’re a technician or a doctor, you can put the thing down for a while and act like a normal human being. Anyway, with the iPhone’s added capabilities comes added distractions and dangers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people playing with iPhones while driving. Their addiction to the blasted App Store is going to get them killed; or worse, get others killed.

By far the most insulting, though, is something I see on almost a daily basis. I’ll be out eating lunch or whatever, and I’ll see two people engaged in conversation…but one’s barely paying attention, as they’re too busy tapping away on their iPhone. Am I the only one on planet Earth who finds that infuriatingly rude? If someone tried that shit with me, their iPhone would get slapped out of their hand faster than a hot potato. I’m not sure if that analogy completely made sense, but you still got the idea. If you have to take a call or send a message for some reason, excuse yourself from the conversation first. (Would you believe that people have actually gotten pissed at me when I’ve asked them to do just that?) Your iPhone doesn’t make you important, so stop acting like it does.

And don’t even get me started on people playing with iPhones in movie theaters…