So, the Flash is getting a series relaunch again this spring, with Geoff Johns at the helm. While he’s certainly being whored around to many a book these days (he’s like the Brian Michael Bendis of DC Comics), the fact that he’s working on the new Flash series is particularly noteworthy. Johns wrote the book in the early 2000s, and his run (no pun intended) on the series represents some of the best Flash stories ever published, and personally, I feel its his finest work to date. So, this new series must be good news all around, right?

Wrong. The new series is going to star the recently-returned-from-the-dead Barry Allen, who was the Flash from the late 1950s through the mid-1980s. (When Johns wrote the book years ago, it featured Allen’s successor, Wally West.) Allen is Johns’ favorite superhero, so it’s only natural that Johns would use his considerable clout in order to secure the writing gig. The problem is that Barry Allen as a character is fucking boring.

Barry Allen embodies the stereotypical “goody-goody” superhero. Originally, that was to his credit, as that’s what made a popular hero in the Silver Age. However, the comic book audience has grown up (well, somewhat) since then, and those types of characters just don’t fit well with modern storytelling. Every human being has his flaws…except for Barry Allen. He’s still a super-devoted forensic scientist and superhero who is portrayed as being the perfect moral compass, and that’s extremely limiting when it comes to modern stories. More seriously, it’s incredibly boring.

Johns has said that the first storyarc of the relaunched series is going to be a CSI-like tale. Well, as well all know, CSI has completely oversaturated the television market with the main show plus a number of spinoffs also airing. So, not only are we stuck with a Flash with a sterilized, one-dimensional personality, we’re also stuck with a setting that’s already been beaten to death. Plus, if we want to read a detective story…we have Batman!

It’s very possible that Johns’ writing may break Allen out his goody-goody rut, but I’m not betting on it. He’s publicly stated that Allen is the greatest superhero ever, so the book is practically a fanfic before it’s even begun! (I’m sure the powers-that-be don’t care, as the legions of Johns apologists will buy anything he writes and defend it to the death, no matter how contrived it is. They’re a very silly bunch.)

My gripes with the new series may be considerable, but I am willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. After all, Johns’ previous Flash work was excellent indeed, but more importantly…I can’t render final judgment on the new series until I’ve actually read it. After the hilariously bad The Flash: Rebirth, in which nearly seventy years of history were retconned to show that Barry Allen is the source of all Flash powers past, present, and future, I suppose it can’t get much worse…can it?