Like anyone else with a pulse, the Star Wars prequels hurt my brain. Detailing each specific complaint about the films would fill many blogs, but today, I’m going to focus on a singular one: the fact that the last two prequel movies revealed that Anakin Skywalker — and by extension, Darth Vader — was a whining pussy. (I’m leaving The Phantom Menace‘s little kid Anakin out of this; fans’ complaints about that may be valid, but they are not related to this specific problem.)

Darth Vader is arguably the greatest science fiction villain of all time, but his mystique was destroyed with the second trilogy. Chalk it up to George Lucas’ writing or Hayden Christiansen’s acting, but either way, the end result is the same. What’s strange, though, is that the Anakin Skywalkers portrayed in Attack of the Clones, the Clone Wars television series, and the original trilogy all feel like vastly different characters. (Note: I’m treating both Clone Wars series as one and in the same for the purposes of this discussion. Events therein may contradict one another, but the characters act the same.)

The difference between the Vader we knew and loved and the Anakin we grew to revile in the prequels was jarring enough, but I suppose that can be explained by the nearly twenty-year gap in the Star Wars timeline between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. Anakin may have been a brat, but decades can change a man, especially given what he went through. It’s the Clone Wars incarnation that throws a spanner into the works.

See, in that series, Anakin Skywalker is portrayed as hero of the Republic who’s larger than life. He’s fought numerous engagements with the Separatists, his tactical prowess is respected and feared by his enemies, he’s teaching his padawan Ahsoka Tano the ways of the Jedi, and he’s secretly married to Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo. Sure, he’s had his brushes with anger, fear, frustration, and all of that other stuff that leads to the Dark Side of the Force, but this merely paints him as an ultimately human character, as well he should be. Clone Wars Anakin is a far cry from his whiny Attack of the Clones self, and in Star Wars canon, the television series picks up less than a year after the events of the second prequel film!

Worse yet, Revenge of the Sith is a colossal step backwards for the character. From a production standpoint, this makes no sense, as The Clone Wars was being plotted during the production of Revenge of the Sith, and the first Clone Wars series aired before the final film came out! So when you view the saga as a whole, as Lucas intends, Anakin’s portrayal is a goddamned inconsistent mess.

If Clone Wars Anakin started out whiny, then grew more confident and capable over dozens of episodes, with Revenge of the Sith picking up on this new persona, then it would’ve worked out fine. But heaven forbid we want modern Star Wars tales to feature a solid story! Hey, I enjoy The Clone Wars as much as the next fan, but I’ll be the first to admit that it’s still a kids’ show with continuity problems of its own. The fact that it feels vastly different from the films, however, is a problem that never should have existed.