(Wondering why is this going up so late, since ComiCONN was held on May 15th? Remember, I tend to write my blog posts well in advance, and there were others already in the pipeline.)

I attended the inaugural ComiCONN, as my roommate had a table there, and I served as his lackey for the day. At the same time, I made sure to peruse the show floor, scouring for deals, getting stuff signed, and talking with creators. Some of my other buddies also had tables, so I was able to catch up and hang out with them.

But you don’t want to hear about that. You want to hear about the stereotypes and other freaks that crawled out of the woodwork for this show, don’t you?

Well, I’m happy to oblige. I’ll offer commentary on a few of the more egregious examples of fandom that I saw at the show. While I may seem caustic, I will not be posting pictures or using anyone’s real names. I may be a crotchety bastard, but I’m not a monster.

First up…the Fat Imperials. As we all know, the Galactic Empire in the Star Wars universe was very human-centric. Emperor Palpatine wasn’t fond of non-human species, so we saw very few of them serving in the Imperial military. Throughout the Star Wars films, we’d seen the personnel of the Empire to be in excellent physical shape; overweight folks were usually found amongst the Rebel Alliance. Well, not so for the local Imperial garrison, it seems. I haven’t seen cloth stretch that far since since I overloaded my laundry bag.

Next, we had the Vampire Tweens. C’mon, are you really surprised at this? I didn’t catch anyone selling Twilight merchandise, but the wimpy vampire fanbase was still out to annoy. I think there might’ve been some crossover with the anime fans, too, as I heard a few of them squeeing far too loudly on more than one occasion. Instances like that call for a roll of duct tape.

Then, the Disheveled. This wasn’t one particular group that stuck together, mind you; this was just a random assortment of people who haven’t quite realized that when you go out in public, you should at least make an attempt to look presentable. Look, comic book fans get a bad enough rap from the general public. These clowns do nothing but perpetuate the stereotype of the unwashed, lazy, and just plain weird-lookin’ superhero fan. Laundry detergent is your friend, people. (As are deodorant, hairbrushes, shaving cream, and sunlight.)

Last, but certainly not least…there was The Crazy Guy. I didn’t give him that nickname — one of my friends did — but trust me, nothing could have been more apt. This guy hit every item on the “Probably a Serial Killer” checklist:

• Overly loud speaking voice.
• Joker-like grin.
• Robotic movement.
• Brisk walking speed, complete with clenched fists held at his sides.
• Eating of live squirrels. (Okay, so I didn’t actually see that, so I guess it’s apocryphal.)

At one point, he was rapid-fire talking legendary creator Jerry Ordway’s ear off, and the look on the latter’s face prompted me to tell my friends, “Hold on, I think I need to go save Jerry Ordway’s life.” I ever-so-carefully butted into the conversation, using a convention program I wanted signed as an excuse. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I saw Mr. Ordway breathe a sigh of relief as The Crazy Guy walked away. (Of course, once he left Ordway’s table, The Crazy Guy immediately made a beeline for my friend’s table, and proceeded to scare the shit out of him. What luck!)

Thankfully, none of these folks ruined anyone else’s enjoyment of the show. And if the freaks enjoyed themselves, well, good for them. The important thing was that ComiCONN was very successful, and we’ll get to see all of these…interesting people again next year. I should also note that the stuff I saw at the show was nowhere near as scary as the shit you’d see at your local anime convention, or big events like New York Comic-Con.

A short while ago, I saw a T-shirt featuring a quote from the annoyingly over-the-top sitcom The Big Bang Theory. It had one of the characters loudly proclaiming…

This is why I hate nerds.

I’ve heard this often-arrogant declaration from other anime freaks, and it’s equally as stupid and factually incorrect as the spouting of a fictional character. Guess what, dipshit: anime is a cartoon. “Cartoon” is merely the name of the medium, and anime is a subgenre within that medium. I’ve heard similar whining from rabid Star Wars fanboys about the current television series, The Clone Wars. In this case, the line is “It’s not a ‘cartoon,’ it’s an animated series!” It’s still the same damn thing, jackass!

More often than not, this kind of talk is used in order to elevate nerds’ interest in anime over those of the “common folk.” In fewer cases, it’s used as a defense against the use of “cartoon” as a perceived attack on their hobby. This is ridiculous, as the term “cartoon” is not a perjorative! Even if someone tries to use it as one, then the problem is with the person who said it in that context, not the term itself! If you do take offense when the term “cartoon” is applied to subgenres like anime, then you seriously need to get a fucking life.

Ironically, when these losers get arrogant and decry the term “cartoon” over that of anime, they are actually the ones being stereotypical, in that they’re claiming that their favorite subgenre is somehow “better” than other cartoons by default. What hypocritical nonsense!

This kind of synonymous bullshit affects plenty of other things in life: for example, coffeehouse clerks calling themselves “baristas.” You’re still a clerk, but there’s nothing wrong with that! I’ll likely write a future post eviscerating other ridiculous new terms for the same ol’ shit. Seriously, what’s next?

“It’s not a ‘movie’…it’s a film!”

You already know that I enjoy anime, but my favorite production studio, far and away, is Studio Ghibli. Now, I’m no expert on their films, as I’ve only seen a handful of them, but I know damned fine work when I see it.

In particular, I love the Ghibli films directed by Hayao Miyazaki. He’s often been called “the Japanese Walt Disney,” due to his tremendous influence and legacy in the world of animation. Concurrently, many animation fans refer to Studio Ghibli overall as “the Japanese Pixar.” This is an excellent and accurate comparison (aside from the fact that Studio Ghibli was founded a year before Pixar was).

Both studios create what on the surface appear to be films for children or young adults, but in fact appeal to a wide variety of age groups, and include surprisingly thought-provoking subject matter. Environmentalism, the nature of being human, the effects of war, and other complex themes permeate Ghibli’s films. Even its most “kid-friendly” film, Ponyo,* is rife with themes that grown-ups will enjoy. Some of Ghibli’s films are most certainly not for children, however, such as Grave of the Fireflies. (Great film, but one of the most depressing movies I’ve ever seen.)

I should also mention that Ghibli and Pixar are big fans of each others’ work. Miyazaki has visited Pixar’s main offices, and Pixar’s John Lasseter has toured Studio Ghibli. The latter’s mascot, Totoro, is even making a cameo in the upcoming Toy Story 3!

I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t this supposed to be an “anger blog”? Shouldn’t I be ranting and complaining about something, not gushing about my love for it? Well, I do have something to complain about when it comes to Studio Ghibli, and that’s the general perception of their films in the US. Ghibli’s work is often dismissed stateside by most people, and there’s a few reasons for that.

First of all, most Americans are hardwired to think that cartoons are always for children, which is simply ignorant. Lucasfilm, the [adult swim] block on Cartoon Network, and the aforementioned Pixar are making strides in changing this attitude, but it’s a massive uphill battle.

Plenty of anti-Ghibli sentiment also comes from the arrogant anti-anime crowd. These are the clowns that think that all Japanese animation is the hyperkinetic wild-eyed stuff. Again, this is ignorance, as well as stereotyping of the worst order. That shit really needs to stop. I’m not saying that there isn’t over-the-top anime out there, but there’s far more to the medium than ignorant stereotypes.

Last but not least, even some anime fans like to shit on Ghibli! There’s not many of them, but the haters do exist. Why? They simply hate Ghibli because they’re so influential and popular, with the usual battle cry of “overrated.” This kind of twisted negativity is present in just about any medium out there, be it film, music, or literature, so it’s no surprise that it’s present in the anime world as well. As with other media, it’s equally stupid behavior.

Studio Ghibli is a prime example of the stunningly high quality that anime creators can produce, and any fan of animation, or even film itself, is missing out by dismissing their work.

* – For more on Ponyo, be sure to read my pal Ryo-Ohki’s excellent review. Fear not, it’s spoiler-free. I also commented on that review with my own rambling thoughts on the film, but I do mention a few plot details. Other Studio Ghibli films Ryo-Ohki has reviewed include My Neighbor Totoro, The Cat Returns, Whisper of the Heart, My Neighbors the Yamadas, and Howl’s Moving Castle.

Today, I’m going to take on the hotly-debated issue of subtitles versus English dubbing in anime. Personally, I prefer dubbed anime as long as it’s a quality dub. I’m not vehemently anti-subtitle; I just enjoy watching video programming in my native language, that’s all. Conversely, for live-action films, I actually prefer subtitles. It’s practically impossible to properly match up lip movements when dubbing live action, which makes things distracting. Subtitles sometimes hurt my eyes after a while, so I can usually only handle them for about two hours. I also realize that some media is only available in subtitled form, such as fansubbed anime. This does not bother me.

What does get my goat is when anime fanboys and fangirls swear up and down that subtitling is the only way to go. In my experience, a good chunk of the pro-subtitle mentality comes from simple arrogance. No, I’m not saying all subtitle fans are arrogant; that’s silly. I know a few people personally who just enjoy Japanese language, even though they do not speak it. They don’t hate dubs, either; they just prefer subtitles. (In other words, they’re my opposite!) But sadly, they’re outnumbered by a crowd that’s fervently pro-subtitle for no logical reason.

The defenses that rabid subtitle adherents shore up are flimsy at best. First, they usually claim that the English translations are poor and that the dub voice actors are all terrible. Now, first of all, the English translations for subtitles can be just as bad; it all depends on who you have handling the translation, so that claim is rendered moot.

Secondly, complaints about the voice acting also fall apart under minor scrutiny. While anyone who’s watched even a tiny bit of dubbed anime or film knows that there’s plenty of truly shitty dub work out there, there’s also a much larger amount of extremely high quality English voice acting. This is a natural progression; anime in the 1980s and early 1990s, for example, wasn’t as hugely popular stateside as it is now. Back then, dubs were fucking abysmal. But over time, as the medium became more prevalent over here, higher quality dubs were created. Aside from professional voice actors bringing their considerable talents to the fore, it’s not uncommon for bigger releases to sport a full stable of Hollywood’s finest providing the voice work.

It bothers me that anime freaks still decry this as inferior nowadays. That’s incredibly insulting to the hardworking voice actors. Need I remind you that the greatest voice actors of all time, Mel Blanc and Frank Welker, are both American? Not to mention that without the dub, you often wouldn’t get official US releases of anime products. The dub you hate so much makes proper DVD releases of your favorite anime possible, so try to show a little respect.

Also, for those idiots who go on and on about how the Japanese voice work is always better at conveying emotion and story…how do you know? Are you fluent in Japanese and all of its dialects? If not…then your claims fly right out the window. In some cases, the Japanese voice acting is actually pretty bad, while the English voice acting is a marked improvement; Fullmetal Alchemist is a prime example of this. (I’ve confirmed it with Japanese-speaking friends.) It’s just like any other medium: there’s good work, and bad.

Finally, the pro-subtitle arrogance also falls on its face when presented with its still-image counterpart, manga. For all of the rabid subtitle fundamentalists…how many of them read “subtitled” manga? That is, with the Japanese word balloons intact, and English translations found below them, or at the bottom of the page? Few to none, I’d wager. That’s simply hypocrisy. (Note: Some Japanese terms in English-translated manga actually are subtitled, as detailed here.)

There’s one big advantage that dubs definitely have over subtitles: with a dub track, you’ve got quote-worthy dialogue and one-liners. Unless you’re fluent in Japanese, the original language track can’t provide that, and even if you are fluent, others won’t understand the quote unless they are, too! My friends and I back in high school used to quote Ninja Scroll all of the time, breaking out such classics as “Hey, piss off! I’m busy!” and “Can’t ya hear me? Beat it!” Quoting a subtitle just wouldn’t have the same effect, as there’s no vocal delivery.

I think after this long-winded diatribe, you’ve gotten my point. Modern dubs are not the horrendous aural assault that anime-obsessed douchebags make them out to be. Ignore those basement-dwelling mutants, and give a fair listen to what’s out there. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

On a final note, let me show one bit of solidarity with subtitle fans: I’m 100% on your side when it comes to those godawful 4Kids dubs. I don’t even enjoy anime such as One Piece to begin with, but I wholeheartedly agree that what 4Kids did with the English versions was nothing short of sacrilege.

(Some parts of this post were originally published in the July 2008 entry “Loss of face.”)

Out of the blue, I remembered a conversation I had with a friend of mine a while back about a regional comic book/scifi/fantasy/gaming convention she had attended. (No, it wasn’t the Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con.) I asked her how the show went upon her return, and she replied that it was mediocre; there weren’t many dealers or booths, and the crowd was mainly “lower-caste geeks.” I wasn’t quite sure what that term meant, so I asked for more details. She told me this group was composed of stereotypically overweight anime fangirls and World of Warcraft obsessives.

Now, this post is not meant to claim that my friend is somehow an elitist for placing one group of geeks below another; her “lower-caste” term was clearly meant as a joke, as she was just fishing for a funny term to describe the crowd. (She’s a comic book cosplay nerd herself, so she didn’t really “fit in” with most of the other patrons.) Instead, I want to examine an interesting trend that’s been growing exponentially in geek circles over the past decade: subdivision of the overall geek crowd into smaller groups (a caste system, if you will), the game of one-upmanship that accompanies this behavior, and the absolute irony of the entire process.

Heated debates between geeks is nothing new; you could trace ‘em all the way back to Star Trek versus Star Wars arguments in the late 1970s, and I’m sure there were Flash Gordon diehards who disliked John Carter of Mars even further back. However, what bound everyone together was their love of the source material, and in the end, that was all that was important. In recent years, that common bond has been eroding, and the geeks have no one to blame but themselves.

With growing frequency, geeks are cramming one another into a caste system of their own making. My friend’s joke nonwithstanding, this is a very real and serious situation: geeks in one group are demonizing the other, but not out of the good-natured rivalry seen in the past. Geek subcultures literally hate each other now, and often consider certain groups “beneath” them as far as the nerdy social strata are concerned.

This is the colossal irony I spoke of. Geeks and nerds have always complained that they’re a misunderstood and maligned social group, shunned by the rest of the world. Well, look at what they’re doing with this caste system: the exact same thing! So, not only are they maligned as a whole, they’re actively pushing some of their own peers even lower down the social scale, making the entire problem even worse. How fucked up is that?

The Internet has certainly contributed to the caste system in a big way; just as it has brought nerds together, it also drives mountainous wedges between them. Case and point: video game console flame wars, which have gotten far uglier than even the famous Sega and Nintendo rivalry in the early 1990s. Now, we’ve got entire sites and forums devoted to elevating one nerdy hobby while bashing another. All this truly accomplishes is making geeks look even worse in the eyes of everyone else!

I’ve always been of the mind that you shouldn’t hate an entire group; just specific people inside said group that personally piss you off. For example, I can’t stand all of that Twilight shit, and I think the fan fervor over it is incredibly annoying…but I have friends who are into it, and I’d never consider myself “better” than them as a result.

Having said that, if a Twilight diehard nearly knocks me down at the bookstore in their frenzy to score yet another generic young adult novel, they’re going to get an earful of rage.