Much ado has been made about the new Kindle Fire and Nook Tablet. Both are designed to steal some of the iPad’s thunder, and I can’t blame Amazon or Barnes & Noble for wanting to get in on that action.

However, there’s a serious problem with these new tablets, and I’m not talking about the usual technical glitches, incompatibilities, and so forth often seen in major hardware revisions. The big issue is one of privacy.

The Kindle Fire’s Silk browser uses Amazon’s cloud servers to speed up website rendering and performance. This means that all web traffic on the Kindle Fire passes through those servers, whether you’re browsing the Amazon library, hanging out on Facebook, searching via Google, or checking your personal email.

And do you think Amazon’s just going to ignore that wealth of personal information flowing through their network? Absolutely not. They’re going to mine that data for all it’s worth, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Aside from the usual profile creation to better tailor ads and services, there’s no way of knowing if and when your personal information will be sold to other companies. There’s also serious questions about how securely that information will be stored; it would be quite a prize for hackers. That’s not a risk worth taking by any means.

I’ve read conflicting reports on whether Web traffic on the Nook Tablet goes through B&N’s servers, but I think that we can safely assume that it does. I don’t believe B&N would pass up such a golden opportunity to collect profitable information on its users.

Your personal browsing habits on the Internet are no one’s business but your own. The ignorant, shoulder-shrugging attitude that so many people have towards corporations’ invasions of their privacy is absolutely appalling, and it’s only going to come back and bite them in the ass. Until there’s an option to disable the use of the corporate servers in order to browse the Web, count me out on this latest round of tablets.

EDIT 12/26/2011: Hoo boy, have I got some heavy revisions and apologies to make. I received a Kindle Fire as a surprise Christmas gift, and I soon discovered that just about everything I’d claimed in this post was wrong.

Yes, the Silk browser does use Amazon’s servers to improve web browsing. However, Amazon claims that none of the data passing through their servers is tied with the user’s identity, nor is it shared with other businesses. More importantly, though, if “accelerate page loading” is turned off within the Kindle Fire’s settings menu, then no web traffic goes through Amazon’s servers at all. Furthermore, any data sent securely via HTTPS (which many banking sites and web-based email systems used) ignores Amazon’s servers completely, even if accelerated web browsing is enabled.

So yeah, I was a complete fucking moron when I originally wrote this post. Fortunately, the gift-giver never read my original post, otherwise I really would’ve felt like an asshole. Please accept my apologies for screwing up, and I’ll try not to make such glaring mistakes in the future.

In case you didn’t know, I don’t consume alcoholic beverages. At all. The hardest “liquor” I’ll touch is something like Nyquil, and even that’s very rare. (Because that shit’s just nasty.)

In modern times, my stance is not much of a big deal. All of my friends and family members are aware of it, and it doesn’t bother them to the best of my knowledge. When I accompany people to bars or other venues where the booze flows freely, I just don’t partake, and nobody thinks poorly of me save for the occasional stuck-up bartender. (For that miserable performance, you shall receive no tip.)

However, things were very different in the past. In college, I was constantly shit on for not drinking. Sometimes the derision was passive aggressive, but other times it was blatant. Many people actually stopped hanging out with me because I don’t drink, falsely claiming that I looked down on people who did. What nonsense.

The only time I’d intervene in someone’s drinking was when it was causing a serious health problem. Anyone who’s been to college knows that happens far too often, and I did my best to help people get back on their feet and not ruin their damned lives. What was my reward? Resentment. Yes, I actually got bitched out on occasion for making sure friends didn’t wind up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, or worse.

One of my friends in college even told me that I’d be fucked over in the real world for not drinking; it was an “essential function of business,” so he said. What the hell is this, Mad Men? Fortunately, I have yet to encounter any career-based resistance whatsoever.

At least no one ever gave me shit because I don’t smoke. (Well, the potheads did, but that should come as no surprise.)

Almost every day, I’m surprised by people on Twitter and other services complaining about work, extolling the virtues of substance abuse, or otherwise sharing information that shouldn’t be made public. It boggles my mind that people still don’t understand how incredibly dangerous this is. I’m not talking physically dangerous; I mean hazardous to their employment.

Make no mistake: if you badmouth your boss online, or brag about getting stoned before work, or admit showing up late, your employer will find it. Most offenders think that because they’re not using their real name, they’ll never get caught. (The obvious exception being Facebook, and that’s where people post incriminating photos. Yeah, that’s really smart.)

Yes, you can be fired for shit like that. I’ve known a few folks who have lost their jobs because they bitched online with no fear of reprisal. Sure, you can make the argument that what you do on your free time is your own business — and I firmly support that argument — but employers don’t care. If you’re badmouthing them, they’re going to kick your ass to the curb, and there’s little you can do to stop them.

Oh, and if you’re thinking of just deleting the incriminating information…that’s not enough. That stuff will stick around in web caches for years at the very least.

When it comes to future employment, venting your current frustrations and whatnot online is just as dangerous. Many (if not most) companies now perform “social media background checks,” in which they research prospective employees’ activities online. This ranges from a simple Google search to actually hiring firms that specialize in assembling a report on the possible hires’ online presence. So all of your bitching online, past and present, is going to be readily available to the company you’re begging for a job.

The only solution is this: don’t post that crap to begin with. Need to vent? Do it over the phone with friends, or in private company. When you post on the Internet, you’re broadcasting it to anyone and everyone. You’d think common sense would prevent most people from doing stupid shit like this…but we live in the Internet Age, where everyone’s an idiot.

I visited a local “trail of terror” about a week ago. For those of you who are unfamiliar, this is a Halloween attraction where groups of people walk through the woods and random structures to get the living shit scared out of them by actors in costumes, mechanical monsters, and other spooky props. (Basically, it’s like a haunted house, but most of it is outdoors.) Creepy stuff like that is one of my favorite fall activities, and I’d heard that this particular trail was one of the best in the state.

As with any walking tour attraction, people are admitted in groups, with a few minutes’ pause in between each group to give actors and animatronic features time to get back into position. My girlfriend and I were lumped in with another group, which was fine (except for the two folks ahead of us who took every opportunity to make out like high school kids; weird).

The problem stemmed from the group behind us. About ten minutes after entering the trail, they caught up to us. The group was comprised of loud dudebros and gangsta wannabes, and they shouted “OH DAMN! OH SNAP! HOLY SHIT! YEAH, MUTHAFUCKA!” and the like the entire time. Not as a result of being scared, mind you. They just yelled that crap over and over and over again, annoying the living hell out of everyone else. I suspect alcohol and/or other controlled substances were involved in their behavior. Aside from the shouted profanities, the group also let fly all manner of racial slurs. The trail of terror was not recommended for kids, but that kind of shit is still unacceptable. I would’ve liked to tell the group to shut the fuck up, but there were a lot of them, and I wasn’t about to risk an ass-beating in the middle of the damned woods.

Fortunately, after about twenty minutes, the band of douchebags…disappeared. Perhaps security had had enough and removed them. There’s also multiple points on the trail where groups are split up, so maybe they ended up ruining someone else’s night. Or maybe the ghosts got them. Regardless, they were out of our hair, and good riddance.

I don’t know what possesses people to act like such horrible human beings in public lately. I’m sure most of my perception is due to my advancing age, but even in today’s extremely rude and ignorant world, you’d think people would still know where to draw the line.

Commercial commentary time again! This one’s a doozy.

Take a look at this ad from Norton entitled “You Are Your Stuff.” Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.

As you may have guessed, it’s the line at the very end of the commercial that gets my goat.

Because what are you without your stuff? Better yet, without your stuff…who are you?

I can answer those questions very easily: without my stuff, I’m still the same goddamned person. I am not defined by objects or random data, and that’s saying a lot coming from someone who collects all manner of things like comics, music, movies, and so on. In fact, one could argue that you’re a better person without your stuff.

It’s appalling — yet not surprising — that a company would degrade its own customers like this. I was relieved to see that this ad has received an overwhelming number of dislikes on YouTube for the exact reasons I’ve specified here. Would losing your stuff really suck? Of course. But it certainly wouldn’t render your life meaningless. Don’t let any corporate entity (or even other people) ever convince you otherwise.