I’m sure you’ve all heard the term “cloud computing” by now. It’s a fancy way of saying that books, music, videos, and other media will all be stored on a third party server, while your computer or other device accesses them from any location. This naturally makes things incredibly convenient for the end user. Forget your iPod? No worries, just stream your music instead to your phone instead.

Make no mistake; this is the way media is moving forward, and we are powerless to stop it. Unfortunately, it also really sucks. You know me; I’m a fervent proponent of physical ownership over intangible licensing. But the cloud model actually takes things an ominous step further.

With most digital distribution models, you pay to download the content, which may or may not have usage restrictions via DRM. If whoever you purchased it from decides not to offer that content anymore, or worse, closes up shop, you at least have your downloaded copy to enjoy.

Not so with the cloud model. Now, you’re not even paying for the content itself; you’re just paying for access to that content. Which means that whoever’s hosting your library can remove content at their whim. And if they go out of business? Your media is now gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

A split between the two models would be best; Amazon’s recently-launched Cloud Player works this way. You can stream stuff all day and night, but it lets you upload your own files and download files purchased through Amazon. Now you can have backups of all of your stuff, and still enjoy it on the go from any Internet-enabled device. (Apple will be launching something similar as part of iTunes.) That kind of setup I don’t have a problem with, and I can only hope it becomes the standard. The only downside is that you have to pay a lot more if you’ve got a large media library, and many of us do.

I know physical media’s on its way out in favor of content providers having much greater control and telling you exactly what you can do with your media, but damn it, I’m going to hold out as long as I can. Hey, if vinyl LPs are still around, I think my CD collection will be safe for quite sometime.

For further reading on this topic, especially as it relates to music, check out the following two pieces by Vince Neilstein over at MetalSucks:

• Amazon Beats Apple and Google to the Cloud, Launches “Cloud Player” Music Streaming Service

• Amazon Cloud Player to Record Labels: “Fuck Off!”

I’d also suggest that you read the comments on those pieces. Aside from the usual Internet flamebait and trolling, there some interesting discussion happening there.

Has anyone else noticed the embarrassing rise of the “militant” nerd?

More and more often, I’ve come across nerds and geeks who are increasingly vocal and downright arrogant about their chosen hobby. Nowhere is this more apparent than the Internet, but since that could easily apply to just about any social group, I’m just going to focus on the geeky crowd today.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with proudly proclaiming what you’re into. But being a pretentious douche about it and elevating it above others’ hobbies at all costs is not cool at all. I suppose this whole thing is a progression from the hardcore fanboy movement I’ve seen gaining steam lately, but that’s still no excuse.

I see a lot of blind allegiance to geeky causes and interests, and immediate, ignorant dismissals of anything and everything that’s different or “mainstream.” In the militant nerds’ minds, only their interests are creative, or interesting, or relevant. Everything else is mass-market garbage…even if it’s not. Even worse is when they believe their interest of choice is exempt from any and all legitimate criticism. (Item #1 on this list is a damned fine example of this behavior.)

Surprisingly enough, I don’t see this kind of elitist behavior with extreme video game fans. I think that’s because video games as a medium have actually become mainstream in recent years. (The industry’s trouncing other forms of entertainment in sales, after all.) Gamers are rarely considered geeks anymore. Besides, gaming elitism is usually insular; gamer geeks rip on other gamer geeks.

Perhaps the popularity of superhero movies was the tipping point. Or perhaps the critical acclaim lauded on science fiction and fantasy programs like Battlestar Galactica, LOST, and Fringe. (Even though nerds were not what made these shows popular: it was a mass audience.)

The biggest irony, of course, is that these arrogant nerds have not only become what they despise, but they’ve actually become worse. They’re trying so hard to push back at a society that’s scorned them that they’ve become shitheads who crap in others’ cornflakes at an even higher level. Not only that, but since they make it a point to demonize the mainstream at every opportunity, that only proves that the mainstream is what actually drives them (just like hipsters).

If you’re of the nerdy persuasion, acting like this is nothing to celebrate. It’s just yet another example of how super-geeks are incredibly annoying, and continually ruin any chance of acceptance in society for their more laid-back brethren.

I don’t see nearly as many movies in the theaters as I used to. The primary reason for this is because they’re just becoming too expensive. Every time a film comes out that looks even mildly interesting, I’m forced to do a cost versus quality analysis: is seeing this movie going to be worth the nearly $10 matinee ticket price to view it in a theater? (I refuse to pay full price for evening shows. That’s insane.) Also, is it necessary to see this film in a theater?

More often than not, I’m answering “no” to both of those questions for a majority of films. The theater experience can make all the difference for big-budget movies, but even then, I’m going there less and less.

You can thank services like Redbox for this. Why should I pay nearly ten bucks to see a movie in a theater full of assholes, when I can watch it at home for a dollar? I’ve got an HDTV and surround sound system, so the only thing I’m missing from the “theater experience” is a gigantic screen. I can live with that.

Quality of a film is naturally important to me. Other than the usual word of mouth from friends and family, I use Rotten Tomatoes to help decide whether I want to see a film in the theaters. I always check the “Top Critics” listing for any particular film, as any random movie fan with a website can usually get on to the main list. There’s a lot of professional film reviewers in the Top Critics area that I trust, so their educated analyses of upcoming flicks are invaluable to me.

I need to state at this point that I definitely do not subscribe to the preposterous belief that “reviews don’t mean anything.” That’s complete bullshit. I understand that not everyone likes or dislikes the same thing, but that’s not why that belief fails. First off, when people claim that “reviews don’t matter” or whatnot, 99% of the time it’s because a movie they enjoy got crappy reviews. Of course, this is completely irrelevant to the quality of the film.

Secondly — and much more importantly — the reviews I read judge a movie’s quality based on easily quantifiable facts: direction, acting, cinematography, sound design, effects, writing, editing, and so forth. Those cannot be logically argued against. I don’t like reviews that just say “This movie sucks because [insert random opinion here].” That doesn’t tell me a damned thing! I want facts, not opinions.

People sometimes think I’m some kind of film snob because I don’t want to spend a ten-spot on a shitty movie. Fuck ‘em. There’s plenty of fantastic movies that I don’t want to see, either, often because I’m just not interested in the subject matter. I’ve heard nothing but great things about The King’s Speech and The Social Network, but the plots simply do not interest me.

There’s no shame in enjoying a shitty movie, but c’mon: don’t try to escalate it to levels of quality that it clearly does not have. And I’m certainly not going to pay a hefty chunk of change to see a movie that’s a turd.

(Part of this entry was originally published in the post Cool to hate.)

Why do so many comic book nerds hate Superman?

You wouldn’t think the Man of Steel would be reviled by many, but hear me out. The ultimate superhero archetype has been around since 1938, and every superhero that followed owes their livelihood to Superman in one way or another. No superhero is more influential, nor ever will be. Yet the negativity against ol’ Kal-El never seems to cease. From whining about his costume (“it’s too old-fashioned”) to grumbling about his powers (“too powerful”) to eye-rolling at his weakness to Kryptonite (“that makes no sense”), you’d think that there aren’t any Superman fans at all out there. Of course, we know that over seventy years of comics, films, games, and television shows put that worry to rest.

Personally, I’ve been getting back into the character as of late, largely due to the “Reign of Doomsday” storyline running through multiple DC Comics series. Since I’m also a Doomsday fan, it was a lock for me. This made me want to re-read the entire Death of Superman saga (“Doomsday,” “Funeral for a Friend,” and “Reign of the Supermen!”), and it still holds up quite well despite its controversial nature. Bear in mind that this was back in a time when superheroes dying and coming back to life was not commonplace! It remains one of my favorite comic book tales of all time, yet I know a lot of comic book fans who bitch endlessly about it. What gives?

This has also spurred me into picking up other past Superman stories in collected form. Next, I’m going to pick up the massive Superman: Doomsday and Superman: Our Worlds at War omnibus trade paperbacks. Unlike the hardcover omnibuses commonly seen, these reprint those storylines at a budget price, since they’re in paperback form and use non-glossy paper. You can’t beat that! Concerning Our Worlds at War in particular, I only read part of that story when it was originally published, via other DC Comics series I was reading at the time. I’m looking forward to seeing Superman serve Imperiex a piping-hot slice of ruckus pie. When Superman: Secret Origin comes out in trade paperback form, I may check it out; I’m not a fan of Geoff Johns constantly retconning heroes’ histories and origins, but I did hear that the book was excellent. (Though I doubt it beats The Man of Steel or Birthright, the previous retellings of Kal-El’s formative years.)

That’s not to say that Superman doesn’t have his share of shitty comics. We all know how puke-worthy Superman Red/Superman Blue was, and as far as more recent comics are concerned, I’ve heard that the years-long New Krypton storyline was very disappointing. (That noise you hear is my wallet breathing a sigh of relief.) Still, that alone can’t be the source of so much negative fan reaction.

Other than comics, of course, there’s the Superman films. I’ll admit that I’ve seen only bits of pieces of the George Reeves ones, but I watched the first two Christopher Reeves movies constantly when I was a kid. (Even back then, I knew that Superman III and IV sucked.) These are one of the primary reasons that everyone knows what that big “S” stands for. I even enjoyed Superman Returns, which apparently makes me a horrible person. Sure, it wasn’t a perfect film, but by no means was it the shitty piece of celluloid that so many nerds make it out to be. The geeky complaints I’ve heard about that film range from borderline to certifiably ridiculous, and they all translate to a simple belief: “Superman sucks.” I’ve heard little to no constructive criticism of the film, just fanboy whining. I certainly believe that this just boils down to dislike of the character himself. Which begs the question: why did these tools even bother seeing Superman Returns in the first place?

Personal preference is one thing, but this seemingly blind hatred? I don’t get it.

Fans of the Star Trek franchise always have their favorite ships, and longtime devotees often spend many hours discussing their pros and cons just as naval history buffs do with real-world vessels.

While much is made of the vaunted Constitution class and Galaxy class, of which the two most popular Enterprises were a part, Star Trek boasts a wide variety of other striking starship designs. The Oberth class in particular is notable for a having a rather unique appearance. The famous saucer, warp nacelles, and engineering hull are all there, but in a configuration unlike any other ship in Star Trek.

(all images found on Memory Alpha)

This ship type has shown up many times in Star Trek films and series, but often, the ships are the site of some horrible tragedy that usually end in their destruction. Sure, the Oberth-class ships are primarily designed for science missions, and thus cannot boast the offensive and defensive capabilities of larger vessels, but it still seems that the class is a bad luck magnet. In other words, if you’re a Starfleet officer or civilian assigned to an Oberth-class vessel, get the fuck out.

Here’s some of the grim fates that have befallen Oberth-class ships. In the first appearance of the class, the Grissom was destroyed by a single “lucky shot” from a Klingon battlecruiser. (Star Trek III: The Search for Spock)

The crew of the Tsiolkovsky fell prey to polywater intoxication, eventually resulting in some freezing to death and the rest dying of apshyxiation. The ship was later sacrificed to enable the Enterprise-D to escape from an oncoming stellar core fragment. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: “The Naked Now”)

The Vico was ripped apart by gravitational wavefronts. The only survivor was a kid. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: “Hero Worship”)

The Raman was never shown onscreen, but confirmed in official publications to be an Oberth-class ship. And yes, something awful happened there: the entire crew was killed by subspace lifeforms, and the the ship itself was destroyed in the lower atmosphere of a gas giant. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: “Interface”)

The Pegasus was the testbed for an interphasic cloaking device, and ended up stuck inside an asteroid. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: “The Pegasus”)

Aside from these humiliations, Oberth-class ships have also gotten steamrolled by the Borg. To be fair, almost every ship that goes up against the Borg ends up quickly meeting the Angel of Death, but the then-aging Oberth-class ships were thrown onto the frontlines during the Battles of Wolf 359 and Sector 001. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: “The Best of Both Worlds,” Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: “Emissary,” Star Trek: First Contact)

There’s also instances where Oberth-class ships were still the sites of unlucky events even if they didn’t end in the vessels’ destruction. For example, the Yosemite got stuck in a plasma streamer, and its crew was trapped in the transporter system. (Star Trek: The Next Generation: “Realm of Fear”)

It’s a shame that the Oberth class often gets singled out for such nightmarish happenings. I guess that’s the price they pay for being different.